Confusion regarding life, heavy.

There are three pretty serious issues, in fact extremely serious issues, life or death issues which are in the headlines at the moment. Quite frankly they’re confusing me! Outwardly they appear to deal with the right to life and the protection of life and perhaps the role we and indeed the state get to play in decisions relating to life and it’s preservation.

On one hand there is a discussion regarding legislation to enable doctors carry out abortions where there is a risk to the life of the mother. In essence the decision makers are being asked to decide whether the mother or the unborn is prioritised. A huge component of this debate centres around the right to life and the belief that everyone has this right to life and that a greater value should not be placed on any life, then of course there’s the controversy regarding when life begins? It’s a difficult one to call, but one message which appears to be emerging is that life is precious and every effort should be made to preserve it.

Then we have the high court challenge being mounted by a women suffering from multiple sclerosis, (MS), who wishes to be given permission to have assistance to end her life should her disease progress to an advanced stage which renders her completely dependent on others. Once again a very sad situation. This lady wishes to have her voice heard while she still can and is faced with a dreadful prognosis. She may be fearful of being alive, but having no quality of life, of being rendered utterly powerless. She may have reached a state of acceptance of her condition and perhaps has given up on the prospect of a miracle cure. One is tempted to think that miracles do happen and to believe that “  where there’s life there’s hope” but is it fair to condemn an individual who doesn’t wish to be completely dependent to that degree of powerlessness in order to preserve our ideals?

Finally there is the controversy surrounding the new treatment for the Celtic version of Cystic Fibrosis (CF), Kalydeco. This treatment has been shown to drastically improve the lung function, weight and life expectancy of individuals with this life limiting condition. This will improve their quality of life and will buy valuable time during which the prospect of the discovery of a complete cure could be realised or an organ transplant could take place. It could also have a profound impact on the individuals quality of life. Yet the HSE seem to be undecided as to whether the life of the people with CF for whom this treatment may be suitable is worth the annual €230,000 that the drug would cost.

Therein lies my confusion on one hand we are debating issues around the preservation of life despite the consequences on the other hand there is a debate about the cost of the provision of a life preserving treatment for those who desperately wish to live.

Biddy's who Bitch ! Light

It’s become a bit of a buzz word recently, “bitch”, you know books like “unleashing your inner bitch” and the running program “Run fat bitch run”. Not one to jump on the bandwagon, but the other day I was inspired to add another buzz phrase to this collection, “Biddies who Bitch”. This troop are closely related to “Ladies who lunch”, most likely their mothers and aunts. They most likely have hefty pensions or are married to men with hefty pensions and as a result can afford to linger over long lunches in artisan café. Dressed in neat lambswool jumpers with trousers and sensible shoes their conversation is audible to all surrounding diners, or beverage drinkers, as most of us can no longer afford to eat and drink in these establishments.

“They let the children run wild, they’re going to be completely spoiled”

“He’s all right, but I wouldn’t like him for my daughter”       

“Did you see her on the Brendan O’Connor show, she looked dreadful”

“What happened between the two of them, I’d say he was playing away”

“She’s far too thin”

“I don’t really like my hair when that little fat one does it, I always prefer to wait for the other one, she’s tidier”

“Wrap it up and bring it home and you can have it after your dinner”

“Her grandson has just graduated from university, but apparently he’s a bit wild”

And so the conversation continued, I kid you not. There was a leader of the pack, one who wasn’t willing to let the others get a word in edge way. There was a quiet one, who wisely sat and listened, nodding on occasion , the other two ladies interrupted occasionally or uttered their agreement or astonishment at times. I sat in awe, thinking that I didn’t think ladies, or so called ladies of this vintage still possessed this degree of bitchiness!

“Bitching” seems to be a common feature among the fairer sex. I have yet to meet someone who has successfully managed to transcend the world of bitchiness entirely. I myself despite my best attempts to rise above bad mouthing others, or gossiping on their circumstances , with my mother and my closest friends. In fact I maintain that at times giving out about people and their actions and being a little envious of others is in fact therapeutic. Voicing your sense of being hard done by or your frustrations is probably better than bottling it up, and if it doesn’t hurt another or become your only topic of conversation, or involve lying and spreading unnecessary gossip, it’s perhaps not the worst way of venting. Despite my desires to be a kind, loving, peaceful, eternally nice person, sometimes I just need to have a good old “bitch”. Yep I’m not a fan of a certain former miss world, yep that’s probably because I’m jealous of her good looks and like to comment on the stupid things she says to console myself with the fact that perhaps she got the beauty and the body and the money, but I may just be brainier and I feel compelled to draw this to the attention of some of my nearest and dearest. In spite of this I don’t want to hurt the persons feelings, I’m aware that she couldn’t give a damn about what I think and nor should she because I only know of her what I see in the media. My bitching doesn’t have malice attached I wish the person no ill will.

I’ve been wondering, are there any women out there who never stoop as low as bitching? I thought of all those I know, my friends, my cousins, my aunts, my grandmothers, nurses, teachers, charity workers and no I cannot identify a single one whom I’ve never heard bitch, in fact I’ve even heard my brothers and my father do their little bit of “bitching “, usually in relation to sport and managers I might add! There is one group of women I find it hard to imagine in a hard core bitching session. Have you ever been to a convent, more precisely one of the closed orders where tiny old nuns spend every hour of their days, quietly in prayer for good intentions? I just can’t imagine these tiny, elderly feeble angelic creatures giving out about the noise Sister Bernadette makes when she takes out her rosary beads!   

"Those who shout loudest get heard", pretty heavy!

Some of the things you learn as you travel through the University of Life are not at all pleasant.  I’d love to have been able to continue believing that all people were born free and equal, but situations and circumstances have turned me into a bit of a sceptic. On the upside though I guess someone who feels it’s important to speak out for those who are often forgotten.

I'm of the opinion that those who shout loudest get heard and those who don’t are frequently ignored.

 Consider illnesses and charities working to support those with illnesses. Take cancer for instance, unfortunately so many of us through family and friends have witnessed people being struck down with this awful disease, fight it, get through it or succumb to it. It’s horrific, but thankfully there are reasonable levels of support available and rapid advances are being made in terms of treatments and screening for the disease. This is I believe largely as a result of the money the government, charities and large pharmaceutical companies put into Cancer research, and no I ‘m not in anyway advocating that they don’t. There is huge public awareness of the disease and would be public outcry if our facilities were not on a par with other European countries.

Unfortunately there are many other equally devastating illnesses which make daily life a challenge for people, yet many families face these illnesses with little or no support, have to fight for access to therapies and treatments, have to fund raise to fund vital treatment and to campaign vigorously to combat exposure to unnecessary risk. Its as if coping with the illness is not enough of a burden. Advances in treatment are not being made at nearly the same rate as for more prolific illnesses such as cancer and heart disease as research into these areas isn't going to generate significant income for the pharmaceutical companies and the government aren't subject to the major public outcry that would arise if cancer treatment was so far behind other countries. Take cystic fibrosis for example , Ireland has the highest per capita incidence of cystic fibrosis (CF) in the world, yet  people with a CF had to take to the airways and battle for several years before a specialist CF unit was built in St. Vincent’s hospital. Prior to the provision of the isolation rooms in this unit, people with CF were being put at unnecessary risk by exposure to bacteria which could shorten their lifespan by years.  Now a revolutionary new drug treatment for CF has been “Kalydeco” has been developed in the UK and the NHS have agreed to fund its provision, however in Ireland people with CF and their families have to lobby the government and the department of health to get access to this treatment.

This isn't the only example of unnecessary stresses and strains which are imposed on those who already have serious illnesses to deal with. The "Jack and Jill Foundation" was forced to undertake a major fundraising campaign last year to continue to provide services to extremely ill children, enabling them to remain at home. Many of these children have rare syndromes; some have never been given a diagnosis. These families provide constant care for the children and with the support of the nurses provided by the foundation can be kept at home at a far lower cost to the government. Nevertheless when budgets are cut vital services and therapies are taken from these families and they are left to turn to charitable associations or friends and family in an attempt to access therapy privately or to get assistance. They also have to take to the airways and the T.V screens in an attempt to get their voices heard and to generate funds for the charity.

So it happens in the charitable sector and in the health sector, it also happens in the industrial sector. Consider some of the recent government proposals re salary cuts for new graduates; currently it’s the cuts to the salaries of nurses which are dominating discussions. This issue is being raised continuously in the media at present, a similar outcry occurred when the government proposed cuts to the salaries of teachers. I'm not casting judgement on whether these cuts are valid, well actually in the case of the nursing staff I believe that most of them deserve every penny they get given their level of qualification, the vital role they play in the health service, the nature of the work they do and the difficult environment they work in! The issue I want to raise however is that other professions such as allied health professions have also been severely affected by the recruitment embargo and salary cuts proposed by the HSE , however they appear to receive the same media attention as there doesn't appear to be a strong union voice bringing the issue to the collective consciousness.

These are just two examples of what I feel is unequal treatment of smaller voices within our country, unfortunately there are many more.  

Bring Your Own, light

I travel between by home and the big smoke, aka Dublin pretty regularly. Of course I use public transport, carbon footprint, woeful sense of direction etc.  In general it’s fine with the exception of the fact that I end up hauling a large bag with me in an attempt to follow those recession busting tips which tell you to bring your own lunch and drink tap water and cut out the latte etc and then you’ll be able to afford a holiday or health insurance which may come in handy for the injuries you receive carrying your handbag!

Anyhow one of my favourite past times while I'm in Dublin is people watching, particularly in coffee shops. Sitting watching people come and go, some in suits, some tourists, some with kids in tow, couples in love, homeless people sheltering from the cold, there’s a weird sense of companionship by joining others in the one place , taking a break from whatever !

My problem is that the recession busting phenomenon of bringing your own lunch does not lend itself to the communal sharing of refreshments in a coffee shop. Similarly for those who work alone, or travel for their jobs or don’t have access to a staff canteen, lunch can be a lonely inconvenient period of the day. 

Might it be a suggestion to open a Bring Your Own (BYO) coffee/lunch venue in the city centre in one of the empty buildings? Tables, chairs, daily papers, background music, a hot water dispenser, bins and some staff members who wipe down the tables, oversee the distribution of hot water and generally keep order. Those who use the facility regularly could pay a monthly fee, and those who only use it occasionally could make a donation to cover upkeep and staff costs.

Any Takers?

It's all relative! Heavy

An image of a miling mother and her child embracing posted by UNICEF caught my attention yesterday.  I would have attached it to this blog, but my technical abilities wouldn't allow for that as of yet! It captured my thoughts regarding what brings us joy and what causes us suffering. A film got me thinking, as is often the case, the film in question was Slumdog Millionaire. I stared in amazement at the two young children covered in excrement running in celebration through a Mumbai dump overcome with excitement at having obtained an autograph from an Indian celebrity! How could anyone feel happiness in those awful living conditions?

Yet the happiness expressed on the faces of the children in the film and on the faces of many children who play with volunteers and support staff in war torn poverty stricken countries appears so genuine and just as real as the joy experienced by well fed, educated youngsters in the care of loving parents in alleged  first world countries.

The prevalence of substance abuse, mental health problems and alcoholism is greater in western countries than in third world countries. It’s almost as if in times when resources are more plentiful we somehow manifest our own discontent and suffering.

I watched in horror at Sky News footage of flooding in Nigeria, where people’s homes were literally being washed away in floods and people competed for food parcels as if their lives depended on them, in fact because their lives depended on them. At that moment in time, the focus was on survival and taking every opportunity to survive because the odds were against them. They were all in the same boat, the future was uncertain there was little option but to live in the NOW.

It appears as if our happiness and our suffering are influenced by not only our own circumstances, but also the circumstances of those around us. If we are surrounded by those who are dealing with the same adversities and struggles as ourselves, perhaps this is supportive, perhaps we are united in our distress and somehow can step up to the plate and eek out small joys amid a desperate situation.

Similarly perhaps distress or our perceptions of what is necessary to make us joyful becomes greater when we are among those who appear to be happy and to have more. The gap between our own sense of satisfaction and resilience and that exhibited by those around us can vary greatly and perhaps its this inequality which fosters loneliness. It is also possible that in more affluent societies as the focus moves from meeting the basic human needs of food clothing and shelter to other needs like love, self-actualisation and safety this can prove to be more complicated and lead to distress.

 By raising our standard of living so too do we raise our expectations of ourselves, others and our needs.

The Vow, lightish

If you read the last post, you may have identified with difficulties identifying what you’re passionate about and following you’re heart particularly when things look a bit uncertain. Personally I think worrying about others opinions of what we’re doing and how and when we’re doing it, pressure to reach standards set by those around us and even pressure to meet societal expectations coupled with low self-esteem, lack of courage and a pervasive risk averse attitude mean many of us live with a constant sense of dissatisfaction with ourselves and a desire to change. For the New Year I’m hoping to engage in operation self –respect instead of operation transformation, I’m not so bad I don’t need to be transformed, although perhaps some of my habits do!

It’s funny I mentioned in the last post that I was a creative imaginative child who liked arty stuff, but that I had crossed over to a more scientific path. I saw the movie The Vow last year, major eye candy alert, Channing Tatum for some and Rachel Mac Adams for others. I was close to tears in the cinema, not when they were in the accident or during any of the typical heart wrenching bits, but at the dawning realisation that maybe I would end up like the female lead, abandoning her dependable career and education, I think she was on route to be a lawyer, and opting to be a sculptor in a dingy studio. I was terrified that this was my true destiny and as a result I would never find true happiness until I was a “starving artist” or perhaps married to Channing Tatum!

On a more serious note , Bronnie Ware a palliative care nurse researched and wrote about the top 5 regrets of the dying,  One of the top 5 things the patients said was :
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

http://www.inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html

Risky Career Paths, Heavy

In my final year of university I did the Myers Briggs psychology type test as a component of a management module. It was an utterly confusing experience, for others it highlighted their preferred learning styles and clarified their preferred way of intereacting with tasks, their environment and others. The test involved self categorisation depending on traits which you exhibited which were associated with a particular type. I found it intensely difficult ,to strongly identify with any of the categories, usually having traits very common to both and no way of identifying which was most natural for me.
It was only after the test that I began to think that perhaps the reason my results were so conflicting was because I had been moulded or had self moulded to a particular psychology type in order to "fit in" . I could relate to the way I was then which would have been more introverted, sensing and thinking, yet I knew that I had extroverted bursts and could be overcome by  a strong sense of compassion i.e feeling. Thinking back to how I'd been as a child I know I was extroverted, and definately a feeling person who often acted on her intuition and was full of random ideas.  How had I moved away from one psychology type over the years to another?
The answer is probably through education.
Prior to my second level education I loved drama and art and was very imaginative, loving to play imaginary games and imagining myself swimming in the Olympics or playing in Wimbleton everytime I was engaged in either of these sports.I made my secondary school subject choices and under the advice of my parents took on science , french, home ec and business studies. Those subjects coupled with the compulsory subjects left no time for art/drama or music in my school timetable and I didn't keep them up outside school either. Up to junior certificate I had a wonderful English teacher and I loved both English and CSPE which offered me an opportunity to use my imagination and voice my opinions, home economics allowed me to express a little creativity. For the leaving certificate subject choices had already become career focussed, I didn't choose subjects which I liked I choose subjects which would enable me to apply for third level courses with definate career paths. The allied health arena seemed like a pretty bankable choice with courses that lead to state employment and dependable careers, or so I thought at the time, nursing, physiotherapy, occupational therapy, speech and language therapy, radiotherapy, this lead me down a science route. An alternative would have been business or accounting, but I had never had a real interest in that . The arts were never even considered because a career as an artist, actress, author , designer was too risky and would have taken self belief , courage and self esteem which I certainly didn't have at the time.
I took my future seriously and not being particularly talented in the sporting arena, committed myself to my study. Although having our own opinions and expressing them may have been encouraged up to junior cert, the leaving cert was a different story. Rote learning was order of the day, flash cards, notes highlighted pages and organisation were the order of the day.
My move over to the other side completed when I moved into college. I was in a competitive course with a huge science component and an emphasis on evidence based practice. Your own opinion wasn't worth much everything had to be referenced and long hours learning things off by heart was a requirement. Added to this I commuted to university and so spent at least 3 hours a day alone on a bus or a train, being introverted and with my books .
I had changed personality types as I moved through the education system and lacking self belief and courage turned away from the risky extroverted, emotional creative side of myself opting for what I thought would be a more reliable safer career path!
It'd be interesting to do the test again as it's four years later, I wonder would I have managed to get off the psychology type fence?