It’s become a bit of a buzz word recently, “bitch”, you know
books like “unleashing your inner bitch” and the running program “Run fat bitch
run”. Not one to jump on the bandwagon, but the other day I was inspired to add
another buzz phrase to this collection, “Biddies who Bitch”. This troop are
closely related to “Ladies who lunch”, most likely their mothers and aunts.
They most likely have hefty pensions or are married to men with hefty pensions
and as a result can afford to linger over long lunches in artisan café. Dressed
in neat lambswool jumpers with trousers and sensible shoes their conversation
is audible to all surrounding diners, or beverage drinkers, as most of us can
no longer afford to eat and drink in these establishments.
“They let the children run wild, they’re going to be
completely spoiled”
“He’s all right, but I wouldn’t
like him for my daughter”
“Did you see her on the Brendan
O’Connor show, she looked dreadful”
“What happened between the two of
them, I’d say he was playing away”
“She’s far too thin”
“I don’t really like my hair when
that little fat one does it, I always prefer to wait for the other one, she’s
tidier”
“Wrap it up and bring it home and
you can have it after your dinner”
“Her grandson has just graduated
from university, but apparently he’s a bit wild”
And so the conversation
continued, I kid you not. There was a leader of the pack, one who wasn’t
willing to let the others get a word in edge way. There was a quiet one, who
wisely sat and listened, nodding on occasion , the other two ladies interrupted
occasionally or uttered their agreement or astonishment at times. I sat in awe,
thinking that I didn’t think ladies, or so called ladies of this vintage still
possessed this degree of bitchiness!
“Bitching” seems to be a common
feature among the fairer sex. I have yet to meet someone who has successfully
managed to transcend the world of bitchiness entirely. I myself despite my best
attempts to rise above bad mouthing others, or gossiping on their circumstances
, with my mother and my closest friends. In fact I maintain that at times
giving out about people and their actions and being a little envious of others
is in fact therapeutic. Voicing your sense of being hard done by or your
frustrations is probably better than bottling it up, and if it doesn’t hurt
another or become your only topic of conversation, or involve lying and
spreading unnecessary gossip, it’s perhaps not the worst way of venting.
Despite my desires to be a kind, loving, peaceful, eternally nice person, sometimes
I just need to have a good old “bitch”. Yep I’m not a fan of a certain former
miss world, yep that’s probably because I’m jealous of her good looks and like
to comment on the stupid things she says to console myself with the fact that
perhaps she got the beauty and the body and the money, but I may just be
brainier and I feel compelled to draw this to the attention of some of my
nearest and dearest. In spite of this I don’t want to hurt the persons
feelings, I’m aware that she couldn’t give a damn about what I think and nor
should she because I only know of her what I see in the media. My bitching
doesn’t have malice attached I wish the person no ill will.
I’ve been wondering, are there
any women out there who never stoop as low as bitching? I thought of all those
I know, my friends, my cousins, my aunts, my grandmothers, nurses, teachers,
charity workers and no I cannot identify a single one whom I’ve never heard
bitch, in fact I’ve even heard my brothers and my father do their little bit of
“bitching “, usually in relation to sport and managers I might add! There is
one group of women I find it hard to imagine in a hard core bitching session.
Have you ever been to a convent, more precisely one of the closed orders where
tiny old nuns spend every hour of their days, quietly in prayer for good intentions?
I just can’t imagine these tiny, elderly feeble angelic creatures giving out
about the noise Sister Bernadette makes when she takes out her rosary beads!
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