Saturday, 5 January 2013

Risky Career Paths, Heavy

In my final year of university I did the Myers Briggs psychology type test as a component of a management module. It was an utterly confusing experience, for others it highlighted their preferred learning styles and clarified their preferred way of intereacting with tasks, their environment and others. The test involved self categorisation depending on traits which you exhibited which were associated with a particular type. I found it intensely difficult ,to strongly identify with any of the categories, usually having traits very common to both and no way of identifying which was most natural for me.
It was only after the test that I began to think that perhaps the reason my results were so conflicting was because I had been moulded or had self moulded to a particular psychology type in order to "fit in" . I could relate to the way I was then which would have been more introverted, sensing and thinking, yet I knew that I had extroverted bursts and could be overcome by  a strong sense of compassion i.e feeling. Thinking back to how I'd been as a child I know I was extroverted, and definately a feeling person who often acted on her intuition and was full of random ideas.  How had I moved away from one psychology type over the years to another?
The answer is probably through education.
Prior to my second level education I loved drama and art and was very imaginative, loving to play imaginary games and imagining myself swimming in the Olympics or playing in Wimbleton everytime I was engaged in either of these sports.I made my secondary school subject choices and under the advice of my parents took on science , french, home ec and business studies. Those subjects coupled with the compulsory subjects left no time for art/drama or music in my school timetable and I didn't keep them up outside school either. Up to junior certificate I had a wonderful English teacher and I loved both English and CSPE which offered me an opportunity to use my imagination and voice my opinions, home economics allowed me to express a little creativity. For the leaving certificate subject choices had already become career focussed, I didn't choose subjects which I liked I choose subjects which would enable me to apply for third level courses with definate career paths. The allied health arena seemed like a pretty bankable choice with courses that lead to state employment and dependable careers, or so I thought at the time, nursing, physiotherapy, occupational therapy, speech and language therapy, radiotherapy, this lead me down a science route. An alternative would have been business or accounting, but I had never had a real interest in that . The arts were never even considered because a career as an artist, actress, author , designer was too risky and would have taken self belief , courage and self esteem which I certainly didn't have at the time.
I took my future seriously and not being particularly talented in the sporting arena, committed myself to my study. Although having our own opinions and expressing them may have been encouraged up to junior cert, the leaving cert was a different story. Rote learning was order of the day, flash cards, notes highlighted pages and organisation were the order of the day.
My move over to the other side completed when I moved into college. I was in a competitive course with a huge science component and an emphasis on evidence based practice. Your own opinion wasn't worth much everything had to be referenced and long hours learning things off by heart was a requirement. Added to this I commuted to university and so spent at least 3 hours a day alone on a bus or a train, being introverted and with my books .
I had changed personality types as I moved through the education system and lacking self belief and courage turned away from the risky extroverted, emotional creative side of myself opting for what I thought would be a more reliable safer career path!
It'd be interesting to do the test again as it's four years later, I wonder would I have managed to get off the psychology type fence?

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